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You are only the star in your own show

...and how remembering that we are not the star in anyone else’s can serve us well

23 February 2024

Everything that happens in our lives is very important to us, including all the highs and all the lows. For example, maybe you’ve got a new job, or lost your job, or are getting married, or you’re taking a big exam, or going through some serious health issues… These are all big events in people’s lives and ones for which we often expect a certain level of acknowledgment and support from those closest to us. 


We can then often feel disappointed and let down if people don’t show the level of excitement or sympathy that we expect. At times like this it can be helpful to remember that something that is your main priority, and currently holds a lot of importance to you, is unlikely to be as important to someone else. Everyone else has their own significant (and insignificant) things going on – they are the “stars” in their lives. 


By removing the expectation of interest from others for things we have going on in our lives, we can also remove the risk of any potential disappointment if they don't show any, and any that we do receive can be seen as a bonus!


The flip-side to this is that often we don’t do things because of the potential negative attention or interest from others i.e. a fear of what people might think — What if someone sees me do something stupid? What will they think if I fail? What will they think, and how will they react, if I succeed? 


At this point it is again helpful to remember that everyone has their own fears, and own things going on in their lives. Sure, they might think about us (and whatever situation we’re in) briefly, but they’ll soon be back focusing on everything that’s going on in their lives. Reminding ourselves of this can help to alleviate some of the fear around what people might think about the choices we make.


Could it benefit you to question the contradiction of wanting those around us to care and show an interest when it suits, but not wanting them to notice / care / judge when it doesn’t?

Published: 23rd February 2024

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